What's Going On Deep Down?

We ask questions all the time. How are you? Tea or Coffee?  What's new with you?

Something we don't do as often? Ask ourselves good questions.

Why am I mad? What am I really angry about? Why did that comment bother me?

These questions are not meant to get you to doubt yourself. They are meant to give you information about what's going on inside. This information is the real deal when it comes to communicating clearly.

Sometimes we fight with others for 1 hour never once saying what's really bothering us. We fight about the way he treated you in front of your kids and why he did it and what he should have done and cultural differences and that he is your husband and you should obey........etc, etc, etc, when what you're really mad at is that he disrespected you and that you want it to stop. Never once in that 1 hour fight did you discuss the core of what you want to say:

I'm mad because you disrespected me. Please don't do that again. Here are two suggestions you can try next time instead.

Can you see how sometimes we go in circles around the real topic? Normally it's because we have not had practice asking ourselves with good questions.

An amazing skill to learn is to develop the talent of asking yourself Good Questions.